He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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