I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Boobs speak an international language.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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