Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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