I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
