we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
