Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
