So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
