here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
