so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Mom said you looked used
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
