Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
