I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
