omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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