idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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