woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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