i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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