glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Screwed.edu
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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