the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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