Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
