is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
