Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
