I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
