Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
