Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You were trust falling into bushes
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
