He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
