It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
