i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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