Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
