I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
