Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
