Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
