it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
