He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
