I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize