Farmville is her only friend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
