I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
