if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
