Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
