Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
