For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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