apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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