I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
