What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
