"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
