You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
