You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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