you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
