the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
