Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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