He passed out mid-signature
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
