Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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